Honored....yet so humbled...

On this day in 2008, Stephanie was laid to rest. I do not like going to funerals...and I certainly do not like going to the burial service. But naturally, I could not avoid this one. I mentioned earlier in my post that Stephanie asked me to speak at her funeral....and honestly when she first asked me, of course I said yes, but REALLY I never thought the day would come. I had my heart set on the Lord healing Stephanie...and yes, He did, but in heaven.

I can remember asking Stephanie what in the world she would want me to say....and her response was "Taylor, you know what to say, just say sometime I would say!" Okay....well. On Friday evening I had some time to think....and I just began to ask the Lord to lay scripture on my heart....I wanted to base everything I said around a scripture that appropriately described Stephanie. God was so good to answer as He always does. He gave me the verses in Galations about the Fruit of the Spirit...
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
gentleness, and self control.....

Oh yes....all of those described Stephanie. JT helped me to think of specific examples that would fit each word with Steph....alot of tears shed but so much laughter as well.

I spent alot of time in the closet....that is where I do my thinking and studying. On Sunday morning, we did not go to church....I did not think it would be a good idea for me to go. The funeral started at 2 and we knew that we would need to be there early. JT was a pall bearer as well. I was a wreck...could not eat, cold sweats, almost fainted after getting out the shower....yet the Lord used my husband and mom to calm me, pray over me....this day had NOTHING to do with me yet I knew that my words would be remembered on that day and I just did not want to mess up or start crying and not be able to finish. I wanted to make Stephanie proud.

So we left for the funeral chapel....I sat down with my mom and sister because JT had to sit in a different place. Debbie, Stephanie's mom came over and told me when I was to get up. I sat there in a complete glazed over look on my face, nervous stomach, hands shaking and sweating....JT continued to give me looks of encouragement....he is so sweet and caring. My new friend in Jesus Stacey came over and asked if she could pray for me....right in the aisle....I just knew after she got finished praying that I would be a complete mess....but the Lord answered prayer once again....I immediately stopped shaking, a warmness came all over me...I was ready. It came my time and I get up and walk to the front. Stephanie's pastor introduced me and said something funny to break the ice....and that was it....I never looked back....I was completely hidden behind the cross (thanks Jean!). If I had not had notes I would have never remembered anything I said. I had never seen so many people....people were standing outside, yes, outside.

The very last thing Stephanie wanted at the end was for everyone to stand and sing "I'll Fly Away"....now that was incredible! We rang her bells and sang the song.

I am recording this in my blog because I want my children to know all about this. They saw Ms. Stephanie and knew her and loved her....they continue to talk about her. I also want them to see how many times God answered prayer and how timely He was with answering. He cannot answer unless we ask....what an honoring, yet humbling day for me. The Taylor's miss you Vasofsky.....